Emotion

3 Years ago, my Grandfather left this mortal life to continue his work up in heaven. I don't remember last year being quite as hard on me as today has been.  I don't know what it is about this year, but geez today has been terrible. It makes me so sad, that I am having difficulty remember his voice, remembering the last few months I saw him. So I'm going to write down the memories I do have. If you don't want to keep reading, by all means stop. I just want to get all that I can down right now to maybe help ease my troubled heart tonight. 

1. When my grandpa would visit in Maryland, he would always buy us a bunch of crab cakes. Every morning he'd cook us delicious breakfast, which ALWAYS had sausage. No one can make it quite as good as he did.

2. He always wanted to make his grandkids happy.  Whether that was filing up our cars with gas, or an oil change, or an accessory for an American girl doll.

3. My grandpa always supported us in everything that we did.  The hardest thing of my life after he was gone was having to walk in graduation knowing that he wouldn't be there to give me a big hug and just say how proud he was.  He was always at all of our sporting events, from Autsin's football and hockey, to my gymnastics meets, lexi's volleyball, to the cousins baseball and basketball. Any large event he was there.

4. My grandpa always wore a blue button down shirt with his silly white tennis shoes and his khakis. Even in the summer when we were swimming or at the beach he would be wearing those dang shoes. :)

5. He would clean his ears out with the car keys.  I always thought that was pretty gross but if he had those keys in his hands he would be cleaning out his ears.  That's honestly probably where I have gotten my obsession for always having to have my ears clean.

6. He taught me how to drive a four wheeler. I remember one time I was following Gary Allen around a field in montana and he forgot to warn me to turn and I ran over a pipe where my four wheeler got stuck right as the sprinkler system turned on. My grandpa was furious! But as soon as we got te four wheeler off the  pipe he let me drive around again. One summer he filled  a huge pile of dirt with water and all of us got in a huge mud fight. One fall my grandpa invited just me up to the ranch. I spent a week or so doing homework out in the machine shack. One night though we watched the birds and I was terrified for the rest of the trip! The crows and ravens in the fields made it very scary for me to be outside. I loved those trips to montana.

7. He loved the movie Oh Brother Where Art Thou. He loved it so much we (the grand kids) sang Down to The River to Pray at Jessica's baptism. And on countless other occasions. He also loved Forrest Gump.

8. The cousins and I would always go craw fishing and turtle catching with my grandpa. He would be so upset when we would stir up the water so we couldn't see the crawdads. The saddest part of summer was having to let our painted turtles go.

9. I'm so grateful for everything he did for me and my family. I couldn't thank him enough.

10. In Layton we were always watching some sort of sport on TV. Grandpa would get so worked up over the teams and the scores an just everything. I think that's a part of why all of us can be somewhat of hot heads when it comes to sports. Maybe I shouldn't say hot headed but we're all very very very competitive.  ;)

My grandpa loved each and every one of us so much. He might not have showed it in normal ways but he was always there when we needed him and even when we didn't. It's still so extremely hard to not have him here to cheer all of us on. But I know he's cheering us on from above. I miss you so much grandpa. It's a hole in my heart that will never quite be filled. I look up to you and hope that you're proud of me, and I'm glad you're watching over me. You were taken to soon, and too suddenly it's not fair. But you needed to be up there more than down here. I love you Grandpa and can't wait to be able to see you again.